niflis

Prolouge 

Life is a stupid thing. Why does it exist? Maybe I should end it. That is a stupid suggestion, I know. But sometimes, the only way. The only way to truly be able to forget, to escape. The only way.

 My best friend doesn't seem to think so though, or maybe it's just for her that it's not. If I disappear, where will she go? That's what she keeps telling me, begging me. But for whose own good? Mine, or hers? Will she be alright if I leave? But will I be alright if I stay? She says she'll help me, if only I could tell her what's wrong. But I can't, and I never will. 

She will never know. 

Chapter 1 

"Come on, you can do this. It's not something you should  be so nervous about. It's just a test. If you fail, you fail!" 

 That's what I was thinking sitting in class with a pen in my right hand, staring infront of me. On the desk was a maths test. I hadn't even opened it yet. Hardly looked at it. Though I had been sitting here for almost fifteen minutes now. I really had to open it. I sighed. I put the pen down on the desk and turned the first paige. I looked at it. Algebra. Could it get any worse? This day was not starting out any good. 

"That last question was really hard, don't you think?" My friend Amber was asking me later at lunch. I didn't even get to the last question. I had given up after just a few minutes of staring at the equation I had to solve on the first paige. "I wouldn't know." I answered staring at the bottle of water I had infront of me. "Oh." was all she said. I nodded, still staring at the bottle. I had known Amber since first grade, it had always been the two of us. She new I hated math, and especially algebra. There was little that could cheer me up when it had something to do with math. That didn't stop her from trying though. "I noticed Danny was staring at you a lot." I frowned. Danny was not intresested in me. Why would he? He had a lot of girls after him all the time. He could just snapp his finger and every girl in school would be begging him to tell them he wanted to be with them. "He was probably just trying to remember my name." I said avoiding her eyes. "Kim." Amber said looking straight at me. "He knows your name, alright?" "When are you gonna realize that he likes you?" I looked away from her, and saw Danny on the other side of the cafeteria. He was laughing at something his friend Josh had said. I looked back at Amber who had her eyebrows raised. I stared at her for a few seconds. "Even if he does like me, he only sees me as one of those girls he stays with for a few days and then moves on to the next one." "I don't wanna be the topic of the week, the girl he dated but soon after dumped for someone better, I just don't! She kept her eyes on me, then sighed. "Ok, fine!" "Believe what you wanna believe, but don't come crying to me when it's to late and he doesn't want you anymore!" It was quiet for a long time after that. Then I saw the clock on the wall behind her. "Shoot, we gotta go!" "We don't wanna be late for english!" We hurried out of the cafeteria as fast as we could. We got in just before Mr Daniels closed the door.

An hour later me and Amber were walking across the parking lot towards her car. Danny and some girl I didn't know the name off were walking infront of us. But I don't know if you could call it walking, it was more like making out while moving your feet in the direction of your car. "They are so disgusting." I heard Amber saying beside me. "Can't they get a room or something?!" I didn't answer. I was to busy trying not to look at them. 

I just have to show you guys this clip of Pink and her father perfoming this song by him, Jim Moore.

He wrote it when he was a soldier in the Vietnam war, she had always wanted to record it with him and learnt to harmonize with it. She said of its recording, "He was so nervous, it was the most adorable experience for a father and daughter to share." 

Apparently this was the first song Pink ever learned to sing =) it's very beautiful.

Unfortunately, he died the 25 of July 2006. And I don't know how he died, only that he is missed. :(

I have seen the rain - Pink feat. James. T Moore (her father)

Comment and tell me what you think :)

//Alex

So today mom gave me some new facial products from Oriflame =)   http://www.oriflame.se/index.jhtml , or http://www.oriflame.com/en/home.html  if you don't live in Sweden. I've never heard off the company before, but apparently it's swedish. So I don't know if it's any good, but I'll soon find out! ;D

Pure skin,  hide & treat pen

This easy application cover stick instantly hides and helps dry blemishes. Anti-microbial formula. Dermatologically tested. 0.3g

("What does dermatologically tested actually mean?"

It was tested on some type of skin. Maybe human but usually animal skin. Companies are vague with the meaning and the procedures varies differently from company to company.)

Pure skin, rapid action cream 

Ultra rapid blemish fighting cream leaves skin clearer in 3 days* 30ml

lash booster

Lash Booster. Advanced lash conditioner fortified with Biotin, liposomes of vitamin B5 and Keravis for a silky healthy look. Perfect for brittle or sparse lashes. Use day or night on clean lashes. 12ml

//Alex 

So ever had trouble choosing what comdoms to buy?! Well, I have a solution for you...

Durex Get It On! 

//Alex :D 

So home all alonie :( nothing to do, no one to talk do.. everybody's at school or work! 

I should lie in bed.. but I felt it was my  duty to tell you guys of my condition :D haha 

or maybe it's just because I can't stay away from my computer :D :D 

Well anyway... 

I found this song by Pink yesterday...  I really like it :)

Nobody knows - Pink 

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me

//Alex

This is a song I wrote around a year ago :)

My everything

I, I feel so drowned within emotions that I can’t control,                                     

I just keep on walking without being able to let it go.

I had you in my arms, 

Your hand in my hand.

The lightning came down, 

And the gold turned into sand.                                                                                 

    

You were my everything, 

Everything I’d ever wished for.

You were my sun, 

You were my earth.

You ruled my entire universe.

But then it all collapsed, 

Into a puzzle that fell into the ocean blue.

And I don’t know where it’s heading for, 

I just know, 

That I’m still not over you.

I’m still not over you.

You said goodbye a long time ago,

But I just can’t leave you behind 

And you, you said that we could still be friends,

But that’s just you being kind.

My dream is just a dream,

Because I can’t bring you back to me.

Every story has to end,

I can no longer pretend.

You were my everything, 

Everything I’d ever wished for.

You were my sun, 

You were my earth.

You ruled my entire universe.

But then it all collapsed, 

Into a puzzle that fell into the ocean blue.

And I don’t know where it’s heading for, 

I just know, 

That I’m still not over you.

I’m still not over you.

Yeah, 

I’m still not over you.

You promised me we’d be together,

You said our love would last forever.

But suddenly things are changing fast,

Suddenly you’re a part of the past.

What happened to us?

What went wrong?

Was it me, 

Did I push you along?

Did you really love me or was it just an act?

I don’t know what to believe anymore. 

All this time we spent together,

Was it really love you were looking for?

Or just someone to play with, something to do,

Oh it’s a fact, I’m still not over you.

You were my everything, 

Everything I’d ever wished for.

You were my sun, 

You were my earth.

You ruled my entire universe.

But then it all collapsed, 

Into a puzzle that fell into the ocean blue.

And I don’t know where it’s heading for, 

I just know, 

That I’m still not over you.

I’m still not over you.

I’m still not over you.

Oh no, 

I’m still not over you, 

I’m still, not, over, you….

Alexandra Niflis 080203 

Hi :)

here are some quotes that I really love <3 I just had to publish them, they are great ;D

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a women's heart...

 If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. 

- Unknown 

 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.

 - (Unforgettable) Nat King Cole (1919-1965) American singer, Pianist 

Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me? 

 - Cinderella ( The Fairytale)